Balls Capone

I was living outside of Toronto, Canada in a forested area with a few other folks. We all lived in vans, campers, or cars and had made a little camp of our own on a friends land out in the sticks. In this dream, I knew none of the other people in my real life, which is unusual, I usually at least see a few people from my normal life in my dreams, but not this time.

There was a guy named Johnny who lived in the silver air stream, he was a really cool DJ and everyone loved him, especially the three girls that lived in the trailers next to mine. They were Mandy, which everyone called "Big Big", because she had really big boobs, Valerie, who spent most of her time reading, and Helen, who was always hot after Johnny.

It was morning time and I was pissed off at Johnny because he had flooded out the shower van. I had a converted a whole old van into being our shower room, it was nice, but a little cramped in there and for some reason I never took out the carpet. But I had found out that Johnny had been waffle stomping in the shower van and I was headed to his trailer for confrontation. I don't care for confrontation, but I draw the line at waffle stomping in my shower van.

As I approached I was stopped by Big Big who was extremely excited to tell me about the big news. "What news?", I asked. "Johnny is taking ALL of us to Future China!", she squealed in youthful excitement. "All of us?". "Even me?", I asked. "Especially YOU", said Big Big. "I think he loves you more than ME!", she said dryly while looking diminished. Well, dammit, now I can't really be pissed anymore, dude is taking us all on a dream vacation! So I decided to forget it and went back to the shower van to jet the peanuts and corn out of the drains.

In this world, the Canadians had invented a special version of time travel where you could go far into the future and spend your vacation in crazy future worlds, you could come back from when you left, but never any further back, to travel into the past was supposedly not possible. You could only go forward and back to where you left from. Somehow, the future folk know of this and are used to having us relics of the past visit their amazing worlds and would welcome us with open friendly arms every time.

Totally stoked, everyone piled into the back of my truck with their things, and we motored off to the Toronto Time Portal. "Sorry about the shower, man", said Johnny, "sometimes you just have to go, you know?" Sure, okay. I just kind of nodded in agreement but added that it was a super gross thing to do and not to make a habit of it or he'd be building his own shower van. Fuckin DJ's.

At the Time Portal, they checked my truck into a longer term underground temperature controlled vault where it would be very safe and protected, it's a classic you know. They were very about it and were sure to let me know it was good hands. This made me very comfortable. There is no security line here, as any kind of weapon from our time would be laughable in this future time and either wouldn't work at all or have little to no effect. A full on .45 1911 handgun would only have the effect of a NERF gun in the future, why? Because of the way that it is there.

We walked right into the Deltron Time Travel lounge, it was decked out in retro 1960's decorations and colors, here you would be seated in a comfy booth, enjoy drinks and a light snack, and before you knew it, you were already there. This was the vessle, this lounge, no ship, no chairs, no special equipment (that I could see), just an old time coffee shop/bar. Once we arrived, we were escorted to the door and we walked out into our future city.

This was China, 3000 years from now, a future world like nothing I have ever seen. There was a feeling on the air, a vibe that felt wonderful and welcoming. The people welcomed us like royalty and guided us towards where we would stay. We were lead into a shining silver building with little booths against the walls, this was where we were staying. Wait, what? Where is our room? There is no rooms here, you don't need them. There is no need for beds or showers or toilets, none of that. The booths are supplied only for the comfort of us past beings that are used to isolation and what we call Privacy. That doesn't exist in future China.

In this future world, there are fields the envelop the entire earth that envelop all mankind, some enlighten and stabilize the mood, some remove waste and toxins from the body, some relax you, some drive you, and some provide the body with the restfulness of sleep without ever actually having to sleep. Here you are never tired, you are never hungry, you are just satisfied and in a damn good mood. There is no need to hide yourself or for shame, none of that exists here, when you are here, you are one with ALL. I was very nervous at first and it was immediately felt by the staff, who crowded around me and released a reddish cloud of energy, which enveloped me like a giant hug from everyone on earth all at once. I was no longer nervous, I felt wonderful, better than I have in years. It was like being a kid again, your sense of childlike wonder was restored. There was always music running through your head, you didn't recognize it as anything you had heard before, but it was always your favorite song, it could always give you the chills in that way that your favorite tunes can. What a place! Future China kicks ass!

Our first destination on the agenda was the Hall of Element, see future China has access to different dimensions and could even tap into the world of the dead, but only so far. The Hall of Element was like a museum, you could go visit everything and anyone who had been lost in the past due to the elements, earth, wind, water, fire. Anything that had burned down you could visit, anyone who drowned on the Titanic, you could meet. You could walk the decks of the Titanic itself, or visit a working WW II U-Boat if you so chose. The sins of the past had been long forgiven and now just seemed so very silly that we were once so war like and how many of ourselves we murdered in furious hate. But no more, they had passed that long ago and with the discovery of the energy fields, it was unlikely to ever happen again.

Like everyone who visits future China, we all wanted to stay and never go back to this time, but you can't, even with the fields in this time period your body and you don't belong here and if you spend too much time you're body will begin to break down and age rapidly to your dusty skeletal demise. So there was a set time limit that was safe and the future fields could protect you for that certain time.

If you felt so inclined you could travel all over the globe within the fields, only thing was, as an ancient, this was painful. Very painful, but it could be dealt with and once on the other side of the conduit, there would be future folks available to shower you with energy and the pain would instantly vanish. We decided to travel to future New York and go sight seeing. I prepare myself and walked into the conduit.

There was a flash of light and now it was if I was speeding down a tight skinny water slide in the pitch black. You can feel the walls close to you, your feet bumping into the walls as you're speeding through the darkness, the water being splashed up by your feet directly into your face, but you can't move to stop it. I can't breath! The water feels like acid, it burns and slices like tiny little razor blades. Panic begins to set in, I don't know if I can do this, this sucks, I begin gasping for air in panic breaths when suddenly I'm in the arms of a glowing beautiful woman. She places her hand upon my forehead and all the pain, panic, and fear wash immediately away, replaced by that "best feeling ever" that seemed to be everywhere here. I tried to speak, but I couldn't really and I let out some gurgling mess of sound like a complete dork. The woman just smiled and shushed me. She vanished into a cloud of red energy and entered my body. Now she was with me, like really with me.

Being human is to be alone, you are alone in your being, your body. In this world that doesn't have to be. This beautiful soul was now with me inside of me and the comfort that brought was like nothing I've ever experienced. "Do not fear, you are not alone, I am with you", I could hear echoing through my consciousness. I suddenly noticed that my companions were gone, where did my people go? The voice inside me let me know that here, everyone gets to have their own path and you need not follow each other around, as that is not the path for you, you will find your own experience. The others had separated in the conduit and went their own ways, I was now alone in this strange world, but I wasn't alone, I had my companion within me and she would show me things that I cannot possibly ever describe. Future technologies of energy and power that boggle the mind.

She informed me that here in this state I'm in I could do anything I really wanted, it can't kill me. I could walk the bottom of the oceans, swim into volcanoes and explore the deep earth, fly through space, etc. etc. So much! It was a little overwhelming for me, but my companion would embrace me once again and it would all drain away. Us ancients were funny to the future folk, we're so needy and weird. Just calm down and go with it! I tried my best, but I'm just a man of my time and could only understand so far. And that was okay, none of it mattered here and again my companion would soothe me. It's a little scary, all of this, especially that damn conduit thing. I didn't want to do that again and that was okay, I was free to leave from any portal anywhere on earth when my time was complete. Just find the nearest convenient 1960's coffee/bar and have a seat and drink and POOF, you're home.

I was now heading to a place called the "crystal falls", which I was super excited for! The companion appeared, took my hand and began guiding me, I was so excited!

Then I woke up to Steve loudly meowing in my face and smashing his big head into my arm. "wake up, human! Give me attention!"

Dammit, kitty. That was one of the coolest places I've ever been in my dream world. It still reverberates with me right now, I can still feel the embrace of the companion within me and it still feels wonderful.

I'm glad I don't live in beat up trailer in the woods though with shitty mates that shit the shower van. That was not so pleasant.

Anyway, thanks Future China!