Read My Crap - My Living Room
Read My Crap - My Living Room
I feel funny this morning, strangely open, and receiving that which surrounds me, like an old time radio. Big, strong, heavy, sturdy, yet simple and serving my purpose. My volume is low and the signal is weak, but the tubes in my heart glow brightly to amplify the transmissions from within. I sit in front of this radio alone cross-legged on the floor, in a dark living room of an old house, the orange light from its dials reflecting off my glasses and illuminating my face in the dark as I listen to today's soul forecast, which says it's going to be warm and slightly breezy, with a chance of intriguingly strange showers.
An odd, yet nostalgic smell fills this room and I can hear my own heartbeat, as it is the announcer between programs, an advertisement for the heart. I usually hate commercials, advertisements bother me, but this one is soothing, calming, letting me know things are good, that they are working out how they're supposed to and to inform me about the "low low interest rates on all new love loans going on for a limited time only!" It's a pretty good pitch, maybe I should check that out.
I watch the dials as they turn slowly by themselves, changing the stations of life to seek a stronger signal and to locate those programs I have always seemed to have missed in the past. The tuner of life is scanning the frequencies at an alarming rate, a little jolt of fear goes through me, what if it actually locked on to something? Something new and unknown? Would I dare to tune in? Or go about my business, as usual, only to end up regretting it later?
But there are an infinite amount of stations, so it really doesn't matter I guess. Maybe this radio isn't as simple as it seems to be, maybe it's whatever I want it to be. Am I the broadcaster AND the listener at the same time? Do I create my own programming, listeners, and ratings? Is this thing really that cool? Sometimes I think so. Then again, maybe it's nothing at all and I'm just completely crazy.
Maybe it's the change in the weather or the time change, this time of season always knocks me for a loop. I don't know, I feel like I'm not here, or half here and half in that dream world.
I feel transparent, hidden, somewhere else, but at least there is warmth and comfort in here, in my living room.
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