Balls Capone

No one saw it coming, life was normal just as it is here in the real world with our new friendly more "progressive" pope and things of the sort. But what we didn’t know is that behind the scenes, for many years, the church had been building a secret, nearly invincible army of religious robots in the depths of the Vatican.

After all the years of planning and preparing, they took the world by storm in a just a few weeks. There was no way to defend against such a thing, it was beyond anything we'd ever faced. It was almost too easy.

I awoke with a start in my dream bed, in my dream apartment, I rubbed my tired eyes and reached down to pet my kitty as I usually do, but no kitty. Where's my kitty? I sat up, took a drink of water from my bedside nalgene and stood up. As usual, everything is the same, yet different. I heard a noise coming from the living room so I grabbed my glasses and headed out there. There in the living room stood a big robot and he was building something in the corner.

The robot was huge, looked a lot like the metal skeleton robots from Terminator, but wore a cheap black suit over the shiny metal bones and had a glowing white collar around the necks. These were the new Robo-Priest Warriors or RPW’s for short, they were created by the church to guard and guide every person on earth from now on. All households would have an RPW, no exceptions and they would strictly enforce the churches rules, any non-compliance was met with swift and brutal retribution, every home also now had a small confession booth built into their homes where every person was required to confess every single morning and all confessions were broadcast upon public TV’s made to embarrass you into submission. Certain sin was punishable by death. The worst of the sinners had already been crucified on live TV as an example to us all.

They also had a new technology, blood changing stations. It was like an oil change for your car, but for your blood instead. It was mandatory and you had to change your blood with special “blessed” blood every three months or face harsh penalties. The used blood was turned into all sorts of ghoulish products and used for the giant blood cannons, which they used on protesters and anyone who dared go against the now mighty and all powerful church.

The new modern dark ages had begun and crushing brutal oppression was the new norm for all upon earth. But there were some who resisted!

A secret underground was forming to fight the RPW’s and they were able to take some of them down with a specialized EMP weapons, but they were big, clunky, and hard to build without being caught and murdered in public, another problem they had was using the weapon would also destroy any electronics in the nearby radius, so even though they were trying to free the people, they were largely hated and despised for destroying so much of what people needed to live in these modern times, oppression or not. The people were getting used to the oppression and were starting to actually defend it. We had to act fast.

Times were desperate and eventually a large assault was launched upon the RPW’s, but it did not go well. The RPW’s had been rebuilt to deflect the EMP weapons and our ranks were being slaughtered in mass. The RPW’s would simply reach down, grab your legs and rip out your leg bones, then beat you to death with your own bones. It was brutal, luckily it didn’t last long, the whole force was defeated within a few days and the leaders of the resistance were being hunted for public crucifixion.

Of course, I was one of those leaders and I was now sleeping in old sewer tunnels under the city, running for my life, trying to stay one step ahead of the RPW’s. But it didn’t take them very long to find me, screaming, I fought for my life with rocks, bricks, bottles, and anything I could find. I ran and ran, from place to place, always on the move, but it did little good, and eventually I was had. I knew the fate which awaited me. But I was spared, the head Priest of the area had decided to try a new form of execution on me instead, which he called “Rotting.”

You would be placed in a clear tube, which was filled a quarter of the way with a yellowish goo which would be slathered all over your shivering naked body. Here I you would stay and slowly be digested by this mire until not but a skeleton, which would also soon melt into the jelly like substance which would help to break down and rot the next poor soul put in the tube, all completely visible to the public.

Soon the tubes would appear all over the cities, above the streets, on overpasses, in public parks, the "rotters" became just a normal part of this horrible existence and people slowly just got used to it. Some would try to break open the tubes and free loved ones and friends inside, but the tubes were virtually unbreakable, and any attempt would land you in a tube of your own. There was no tolerance for disobedience. You were always welcome to join the rotters. The tubes also made for great building material and entire apartment towers and neighborhoods were constructed from them. "Put the sinners to good use!", they would say and people now fully believed.

The guard smirked at me as he shoved me into the gross yellow mash and said, “Your legs should be completely rotted by Christmas!”, then closed and sealed the hatch.

The tube was transparent and anyone on the sidewalk in front of the building could see me writhing in agony inside the tube, it was hot and freezing cold at the same time, everything itched and burned, it truly was the definition of a living hell, slowly rotting away over the course of what was supposed to be more than a year.

I had tried, I gave it my all, we all did, but we failed. Now, here I would slowly rot into mash in agony and humanity would be forever enslaved by the Church.

A bloody and brutal future. I was glad to wake up from that one. It was certainly nice to reach down and have my kitty there to pet, and no robo-priest in my living room who wants to turn me into yellow goo.