Balls Capone

I was standing in a grassy field near an old red barn. There was something I needed to do here, but I couldn't remember what it was. Then out of the trees came my sister who beckoned me follow her. So I did. I was taken down a slippery muddy slope where I kept slipping and falling down. I was annoyed, because as usual in my strange dreams, I'm extremely overdressed for the occasion. Will you be slogging through mud today?? How about the bright white Colonel Sanders Special with white slick shoes, complete with white cane? Perfect! I'm 1000 years old and totally need a cane I guess.

So now I was getting my nice suit all covered in mud and it was upsetting me greatly. I finally got down the hill, now resembling a pair of shat tighty whities, brown in back, white in front, when I saw a few other members of my family waiting. My uncle John, my aunt Barbara, and my aunt Beth. Now what? I was pissed and wondering who was going to pay for my dry cleaning bill! Do you guys have any idea how much this suit costs?? Then something caught my eye.

They all seemed very tired, weary, and worn. They were adorned in strange bright colored bathrobes with hoods, blue, orange, and green. As I approached they all pointed to what looked like a freshly dug grave in the middle of the woods, six feet deep, extremely muddy, and the bottom seemed to be filled with a yellowish gurgling diarrhea like fluid. Barbara then turned to me and said, “you must transform”, and pushed me into the grave.

I splattered down into the yellowish fluid which strangely pulled me horizontally onto my back. Strangely enough, the first thoughts in my head were how I was going to get this yellow mush out of my nice suit! But that was the least of my worries, as out of the yellow mire came this greenish tongue which instantly wrapped around my legs and began to pull me under. My family all stood above watching with sad yet blank faces as I struggled and thrashed around wildly, trying to break free of the grotesque tongue. Then I heard a voice in my head say,

“Let the pit consume your body, friend let it digest you”, “there is no escape from the squirm pit”

And something just felt right, so I just stopped fighting and let go. All of it suddenly drifted out of my mind, I no longer cared what happened to my nice suit. All those trivial cares fell away like shriveling fruit from a dying tree. I was now in a odd calm. I looked up and saw my family members all making strange grinding like jaw motions, as if they were trying to chew bones. They all had white eyes and were making whirring sounds a they chewed, instructing the pit to consume my flesh.

My peaceful calm was then broken as the gross tongue grabbed me and I was plunged under the yellow mung, I couldn’t breathe, I began to panic as I felt the yellow grunge filling my ears, my nose, and finally my lungs, as I gasped in panic for air. Horror, terror, and sheer flailing panic gripped me as I was filled with the sensation of being forced through some kind of screen, a barrier of some type, but then all slowly turned to a quiet relaxed calm. It was empty, I could see nothing, it was totally black, but I knew somehow my eyes would not work here. Nor would any of the normal senses that we all know. There was no sight, yet I could see. I had no ears, yet I could hear. I had no body, yet here I was. It was nothing and everything all at once. Suddenly a grin appeared on my face as information began to leak into my being.

I began to laugh, hard roaring laughter, it suddenly all made sense, and it was all so damn silly! What was I scared of? Like, Duh. I was no longer in the physical world, I was not a living being, but a pulse of energy of some kind. Here in this place I felt a power, an indescribable and incomprehensible power and that power was within me as well. Here everything was right, everything made sense, and was so easy! An all encompassing love filled every space of my being and I laughed again at my silly concerns about my dorky white suit. It didn't even really exist!

Now light began to fill the space and I was urged to move, which I did whether I liked it or not. I was taken to the edge of a deep cavernous pit, the rock that made up the walls was blue and glowing with little sparkles radiating white light. Below, at the bottom of this pit I was shown a group of what looked like little blue electric sparks shooting around in a circular glass like tube, and i knew immediately that this was my group, my clan, all the energy of those in my world. The energy of friends, family, acquaintances, enemies, everyone of even the smallest importance in my life, they were all down there together spinning to create an experience of this life. I instantly wanted to join them, but I could not. I was being guided somewhere else. It was like being in a powerful river current, it just took you where you needed to go, you didn’t resist, it just happened. Don't worry about it, you'll get there, it's all good.

I came to a bluish room that almost looked like it was underwater. There I met 3 beings in “blanks”, as they called them. The Blanks were non-descript basic human forms that had no unique features at all, kind of like robots. They were sat around a table playing poker with neon colored playing cards. The bet? Energy of course. I sat down and they dealt me in for a hand. You don’t need to ask questions here, you already know, the flow takes you and you just go with it. I was playing for my own freedom, I knew that well. I also knew that I had already won and sure enough, in my hand were 5 aces, not 4, but 5. The last ace had a weird looking snake figure on it, glowed green, and was the most powerful card in the deck. I knew even more now.

With a wave of my hand the three beings disappeared, and I was given the knowledge. The knowledge of, I don’t know, everything? I sure wish I could remember it, but I do remember that it cannot exist here in the physical world of the living. You cannot comprehend it here. But the awesome feelings remained.

I waved my hand in front of my own face and suddenly found myself waking up in my bed, filled with a tingling energetic sensation that felt like a hug from the universe itself. The love was still there and I felt that's what it's all about, the love. It's pretty simple. Love and be loved. The rest doesn't matter.

What started out terrifying turned into probably the closest to a God like experience I’ve ever had.

Was I a God myself? A God? The God?

Maybe what we call “God” is that place I was in, the place where it all comes from? Or Maybe not. But I think not, I think it's the love that binds us all together in one way or another.

Or, maybe I’m just completely insane.